March 4, 2012 at 4:05 am 1 comment

Yes, it’s time for that post. I feel the need to really get my feelings out (in an unemotional way, of course), about the dreaded ‘L’ word. I knew I would be writing about this topic but now seems the best time, as I think I have more of an idea of where I’ll go with the subject.

The first thing to ask is, what is love? A feeling or a choice? Or both? Here’s my theory: Some people (from here on I will be assuming the person is a guy, though it can go both ways) may, how shall I put this? Make you feel so many different emotions at one time that you would really like to kill him? Yes, I think that’s it. Yet, somehow, you choose to continue to surround yourself with that person. No matter what that person has done to you, or made you feel. You keep thinking, “Maybe he’ll change. If I can just deal with his mood swings or his flaky answers or his constant making me feel happy one minute and depressed the next, then he’ll realize I’m really serious about this. If he would stop giving me that constant, ‘but’ reply, then everything will work out.” Keep hoping. There is always a chance.

The above is an example of what some may think is not love. And perhaps these people are right. But it’s an example of how, no matter what that person does, (short of murder), you choose to love him. You can’t help it, and more likely than not, the guy isn’t even going to realize what you’re going through. Though, I must say, if he does realize it, and continues to hurt you, you should probably be keeping your options open. :-P

But then, there is the other side to love: The feeling part. How is one supposed to really know what love feels like? There is obviously a difference between love and lust, but how are we to know what that difference is? Too many girls in the world will say, “I’m in love.” But when you ask the girl how long she and her boyfriend have been going out, and she replies, “Two weeks,” your instinct tells you that what she’s feeling isn’t love.

This is my belief: Love is a choice. But the feeling that comes with making that choice, is love. Does that make sense? Love is being able to accept a person completely, faults and all. Their whole character. Never trying to change them, just accepting them. And loving them no matter how many times they mess up. When you make that choice, I believe that what is felt after making that choice, is love. So you see, love is a feeling and a choice–but the choice will come first. I am definitely not saying that if you have chosen to stay in an abusive relationship, then that’s a good thing and you must be in love. Love isn’t about putting up with physical or verbal abuse from your boyfriend. That’s what makes love so special: It’s the complete opposite of anything bad or harmful. The guy who shoves you around doesn’t love you–the guy who treats you with respect, does.

So, maybe you have a better idea about what love is. This post shouldn’t make you more afraid to say “I love you” for fear of not meaning it, but only to help you think twice before saying those words. It’s ok to be a little confused about what you’re feeling–who doesn’t? But if you can honestly say to yourself, “I accept this person for everything he is” then say the words. When the impulse to say “I love you” comes, think carefully. Then act: Because, for all you know, that person won’t be around the next day.


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